your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
