seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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