i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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