You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
