I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
