Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
