do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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