i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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