I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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