Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
