I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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