i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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