Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
