Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
