Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
