Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
