He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Randomize
