so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
