i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
