If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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