I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
