We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
