She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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