I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
