seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
