i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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