we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
