Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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