The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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