Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
