I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
