So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
