dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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