...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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