Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
50% drunk capacity currently
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
