I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
even my farts smell like vagina
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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