whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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