i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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