dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
