That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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