So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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