spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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