please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
