i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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