maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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