Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
