the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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