I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
