For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
