ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
